when the strong cry

“Everyone will tell you to be stoic. To be strong. That’s what being a top means. To not need comfort, touch, reassurance. You’re harsh, strict, brooding — what would you need with those displays of vulnerability, your soft underbelly?” Sinclair Sexsmith writes for Autostraddle. 


Excerpt from Sinclair Sexsmith’s article, “Aftercare For Tops“:

I don’t want to tell you how hard it is sometimes to muster up the strength to beat you down. I know you ask for it, beg for it; I know you need it, somehow somewhere in your system desires the intense sensation that comes with bodies slamming into each other, pain bursting on the edges of your body. I don’t want to tell you the monologue in my head sometimes as you take it, harder and harder, for me, as we keep up the illusion — for both of us — that it is in fact for me, that it isn’t something I do for you because you need it. I know I need it, too, and I do, and I seek it, and I crave it when I don’t get it, but sometimes: I don’t want to tell you, but all I want is your mouth on me, your hands on me, those loving caresses, those sweet kisses, and sometimes, I whip you beat you smack you fuck you hard just so we can have those moments of aftercare, where I can break down after coming so hard that I cry, and you kiss my tears and fit right into that spot in my arm against my chest and shoulder, and I marvel at our forms.

Read the full article at Autostraddle. Post is part of a larger series by Sinclair Sexsmith, “View from the Top“.

Featured Image: Autostraddle.

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