the pleasure of restraint

Why do people enjoy being tied up and tortured? Writer from The Establishment, Tina Horn, interviews professional dominatrix Troy Orleans.

Excerpt from Tina Horn’s article, “Bondage Is Freedom, All I Have To Do Is Accept My Partner’s Desire“:

I’ve been in a lot of dungeons, but never one quite like Salon d’Orleans. Located in a mysterious midtown Manhattan building, the studio of dominatrix Troy Orleans is ordered and calming. Like yoga centers or other sacred spaces, it’s one of those NYC locales that has been meticulously designed to make you feel like you’ve crossed a threshold into a place of different possibility. As I looked around, I got an inkling of why people who come here might feel they were contained by something that can help them dive within.


She is well-spoken and measured, although she often cracks wise. She has been working as a professional dominatrix in Manhattan for over a decade. As we discussed the appeal of bondage, something I have quite a lot of experience in, I felt like someone who has been to some yoga classes talking with someone who facilitates week-long meditation retreats. I have a sense of what the depths look like from the surface, but she’s been down there in it.

So why do people want Troy to put them in bondage? Troy and I discussed several possibilities. She spoke of the difference between constriction and restriction: Some people want to feel the pressure of something pressing into them, holding them, while others want something to prevent them from moving.

I told her that one thing I like about bondage is just having something to struggle against, something to hold me in place. I also confessed I was turned on by the abdication of responsibility. When I’m in bondage, I know I’m right where my partner wants me. All I have to do is accept their desire. I like being physically controlled because it makes me feel like I’m pleasing my partner.

“It doesn’t matter how much you want something; you can’t have it. You do what the bondage wants,” she says, with the rapturous tone of someone discussing their great passion.


As I left Troy’s studio and descended into the subway, I looked around me at everyone who has their own struggle. I thought about how they would all react to being put in bondage, and realized bondage is something we can all relate to. Erotic bondage may be the best way for us to feel immersed in the experience of struggling against our restraints, and it may be the best way to recognize how to be truly free.


Read the full article at The Establishment.

Featured Image: The Establishment.


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