Why submission does not equal meekness

“Submitting to domination takes fucking cojones, man.”

Michael Broder for The Rumpus. 

Michael Broder’s article from the (K)ink: Writing While Deviant series:

Submissive in the kink sense does not mean meek. Far from it. The noun form of the meek “submissive” is submissiveness; the noun form of the kinky “submissive” is submission. Submissiveness submits to dominance; submission submits to domination. Submitting to domination takes fucking cojones, man. Downcast eyes and “Yes, Sir”/“No, Sir” are just the beginning. Submission is doing as you’re told and taking what you are given. But more than that—and I think this is really the essence of sexual submission—it’s doing as you’re told and taking what you’re given with pleasure, eagerness, even gratitude. Including insertable objects—natural or synthetic, solid or liquid, a cock or a butt plug, beer or piss—down your throat or up your ass. But also, and just as importantly, taking orders—and not just taking orders, but wanting orders, loving orders, exulting in orders, getting rock hard from being told to keep your legs together, your back arched, your ass in the air; being told to get on your back, to spread those legs, spread those legs wider, open that ass, open that fucking asshole, open up that fucking asshole wider, you fucking slut!


Piggy gay men also call cumdump sex “taking loads,” “breeding” and “getting bred,” terms that clearly invoke a heterosexual reproductive metaphor that analogizes the bottom to a woman and his anus to a vagina. All of which is fine with me. All of which is HOT. But as a credentialed classicist, I cannot end without tying all of this back to Plato’s Symposium, in which Socrates’s mentor, a woman philosopher named Diotima, explains to Socrates that in gay male love, the dom top inseminates the sub bottom with words and thoughts, artistic or philosophical ideas, and the children the sub bottom gives birth to are not biological but intellectual: music, art, insights into the workings of the natural world, laws beneficial to the state, and, yes, poetry.


Original article published on The Rumpus on 13th October 2015.

The post is part of the (K)ink: Writing While Deviant series at The Rumpus.

Featured photo by Melnikov Vitalik.


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